Immigration Blues? You're Not Alone – And You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck

Kia ora, I’m a New Zealander of Māori and European descent. At just two months old, I moved with my mother’s family to the Netherlands, where I spent the next 42 years. Dutch is my mother tongue, and the Netherlands shaped my education, worldview, and much of my professional life.

I was a proud Dutch woman, yet deeply connected to my family in New Zealand — including my father and my sisters. In the 1990s, I helped build trade connections between the two countries, which meant I could regularly visit the land of my birth. So, when my children were born in the early 2000s, it felt like the right time to move back to Aotearoa with my husband and kids.

On paper, our immigration was seamless: we had the financial stability, bought a house before arriving, and the kids were easily placed in a local kindy. It looked like the perfect transition.

But it wasn’t.

Something in me shut down. Despite being “home,” I felt unrooted. My sense of identity was in limbo — my life in the Netherlands felt invisible, and my place in New Zealand felt undefined. What once came easily now seemed like an uphill battle. I was “making do,” but not truly living from my full self.

Eventually, I did build a good life: I remarried, renovated a home on my whenua, built a meaningful career in healthcare, and found joy in my community. But looking back, I wish I’d known sooner what I know now:

You don’t have to leave behind the culture and identity you built abroad. You can bring your full self into your new life — and thrive.

Your “culture” is more than a passport or birthplace. It’s the rich, personal ecosystem of values, relationships, and lived experiences you’ve built over time. It doesn’t need to be shelved when you move countries. In fact, it’s the key to feeling at home again —body, mind, and spirit.

If you're struggling with identity, belonging, or “fitting in” after moving countries, know this: you’re not broken. You’re evolving. And with the right support, that evolution can feel exciting and empowering — not overwhelming.

Let’s turn your transition into a transformation. I’m here to help.

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Interactive Bonus Exercises

As a coach, I know that the journey we take shapes who we are. For now, I invite you to reflect on the parts of your past self that made you feel strong, joyful, or true to who you really are.

Maybe it’s the courage that helped you start over in a new country, the passion or creativity you once had more time for, or the calm confidence you felt when life flowed more easily.

You don’t have to leave those parts behind. You can carry them with you right now.

Bringing even one of those qualities into this week will remind you of your inner strength and help you feel more grounded and whole.

You are not starting from scratch — you are building from experience, from memory, and from heart. You are more than enough. You've always been.

You may benefit from the following Affirmation:

Journaling Prompt for the week: